Sunday 27 March 2011

Friends #4

I have looked at the fact that a true friend fellowships or spends time with others, a friend reaches out to others and a friend identifies with others. I now want to look at the fact that a true friend encourages others.

Over the years I have had many acquaintances but only a small circle of friends. I say this in that yes there have been many times when I have had rough times or even good times and people will make comments about them but a true friend encourages in the good and bad times. I still have in my possession a card that was sent to me by my father, who is my friend when I was doing a pastoral internship in Findlay, Ohio. The card stated: "Remember when I used to lift you up when you were small. I still do before the throne of grace in prayer." The simple words of that card rang true for me then as they still do that my father and others are sticking with me in the good and bad, be it through prayer as the card indicated or by just "being there" when I need them.

On the flip side if I am to be a friend I need to be one who encourages others myself as the writer of Proverbs reminds us in Proverbs 18:24 that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. A true friend will stick by another in the good and bad. We have all heard of "fair weather friends" who don't mind being identified as your friend when everything is going your way but if trouble comes be it sickness, family crisis, or other circumstances they suddenly disappear and you don't know who you can count on. I have heard of too many people in my life that have felt abandoned by so called friends when they were going through a difficult time. I hope I am not guilty of that, nor I trust are you.

In the New Testament we are introduced to Barnabas in the book of Acts who was known as one who encouraged people including the apostle Paul. Indeed at the start of Paul's ministry after his dramatic salvation experience it was Barnabas who stood up for Paul when others were afraid (Acts 9:26,27).

So a true friend is one who encourages others in the good and bad.

Tuesday 22 March 2011

Friends #3

I have been working through the acrostic that I developed for the word Friends. F I said stood for friends fellowshipping or spending time together. R - Friends reach out to each other. Now I would like to consider the fact the I refers to the fact that friends identify with each other.

When I think of the fact that friends identify with each other I mean exactly that, that is friends are not ashamed to associate with each other or admit that another person is someone they count as a friend. This is where you will see some of the other aspects of my defining a friend may over lap as the fact is that if we are to identify with each other we will want to spend time with each other.

If you were to attend a morning service at Barrhead Alliance Church in Barrhead, Alberta you may find several of my care group sitting together in the southwest back corner of the sanctuary. Some may think we sit there because of small children as a couple of families in my care group indeed do have small children but then again I am single and some of the others in my care group have teens in their family unit. I tend to think that we sit in that corner because we like to sit with each other as many times after the service we will spend a few minutes chatting together. I admit there are times I want to get home quick but other times I enjoy just chatting with my friends there and building relationships.

You may also come to a care group meeting on Monday nights and find us laughing, praying and studying together. We listen to each other and give each other opportunity to express what we are thinking on a certain topic. I believe this too is an example of identifying with each other as friends as we want to get to know each other on a deeper level than just shallow knowledge.

Jesus Christ, as our ultimate Friend also wants us to identify with Him and wants us to get to know Him more. He told his disciples that he no longer called his disciples mere servants but friends as they followed and did what He said (John 15:15). As we seeks to follow Him we identify with Him. In a lesser way as we get to know and spend time with those around us and care for them and identify with them we become greater friends. Thus friends identify with each other.

Sunday 20 March 2011

Patience - I want it now!

32 years ago today, March 20th (boy that seems like such a long time ago and yet it doesn't!) I gave my senior sermon at Prairie High School and spoke on patience using James 1:2-4. In that 5 minute sermonette I boldly proclaimed that I felt I had learnt patience after going through health problems and having to drop out of school in grade 11. I was so sure that God had given me the strength to endure and in retrospect it was like I was boldly proclaiming I asked God for patience and I got it now! Well was I ever in for a rude awakening as four days later I developed a more intense period of asthma and allergies which saw me basically spend the last three months of my grade 12 year in my dorm room as I could not go anywhere without coughing fits all day! I said I had patience, but I was shown I really didn't know what I was boasting about!



Have you ever gone through times when you felt you had endured so much and that you needed patience to go through it? However you wanted God to operate on your time schedule as you wanted patience, but you wanted it now. You may have felt like Job but you were sure that you had endured enough so why wasn't God acting on your behalf.



Over the years, and yes I am still learning patience and I am not there yet :), I have come to realize that God is the one to be in control of my circumstances not me. The Old Testament saint, Job had to learn this lesson too. Even though Job may have considered himself very righteous, and indeed God viewed him as more righteous than many others, Job had to come to the point of realization that God had him go through situations so that Job could be stronger spiritually. I believe it is at that point in our own lives when we recognize God knows, even though we don't understand, what is best. Yes in the midst of the trial it may and will seem difficult as I have found a little bit in my life and I know a number of my friends know more of as they have gone through some trying times lately but as we endure God will give us patience to endure.



So even though as that very young 17 year old who gave his sermonette about patience and having learned it, found out, God wants us to learn the true meaning of patience for as James 1:2-4 says: "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." (The Message) Patience is a difficult gift to receive but as we develop it God will see us through situations in life as we rely on Him.

Wednesday 16 March 2011

Friends #2

Last post I began on an acrostic that I developed a few years ago around the word "Friend". Last time I said that I believe friends need to fellowship or spend time with each other if we are to develop true friendship. Today I want to look at R or the fact that friends reach out to one another as I believe there are two different aspects to this idea that I would liek to briefly flesh out.

As I write the country of Japan is in the news as it suffered a horrific disaster with a tsunami and earthquake devastated a part of that nation. It is a nation in need and people are seeking to help via financial and material donations. This in some ways is an example of what a real friendship should like as well. We are told in Scripture if we know of a need and are able to supply that need to someone it should be automatic that we do it. I know there have been times in my life when I have seen a friend in need and though, unfortuantely more times than I care to admit to I have turned away, it is challenging I have sought to help as I am sure you all have. Sometimes a friend may be embarrassed to admit to a need but a real friend will seek to reach out to someone who is hurting.

Over the past couple of years I have had the opportunity to develop a friendship with a former classmate of years gone by via Skype. Admittedly it is difficult to always discern how that friend is doing seeing the only communication is via the written word and occasional video contacts but at the same time I believe as we ahve gotten to know each other we have reached out to each other. The way we end our conversations are usually with a virtual hug emoticon and kiss emoticon. Though cute it shows we care as there have been many times when one or both of us have admitted that we wished we could do more for the other individual but due to distance etc it is not possible, still I believe it shows reaching out.

The flipside of reaching out is to admit that one has a need to be ministered to. Sometimes I think it is easier to be on the giving end or the reaching out to a hurting friend end rather than being the one who is in need. I don't like to admit many times that I have a need and yet there may be times when a friend wants to help out and both miss out on a blessing, i.e. the one who is reaching out to me or you and the receiver of the action.

Thus friends not only spend time together in fellowship but they reach out to one another. I look forward to your input on this.

Tuesday 15 March 2011

Friends

Friends, what and who are they? As I sit at my computer and compose this first post I was struck by the fact that I am blessed with some very good friends. But what exactly is the make up of a friend.

Today many of us are on Facebook and people talk about friending someone, i.e. adding to their list of people in their social network that they want to keep in touch with. There are people who, if you look at the amount of "friends" cited on their web page you would think are very popular and then there are those who may have only a few friends listed. Though I can't claim to have hundreds of FB friends I do have a fair number, but to be perfectly honest could I or you consider all those people on my list or your list as quality friends?

We talk about being friends with everyone and society (though it admittedly has done a poor job at it) advocates that we should love everybody. Songs are written to that extent and we are admonished to avoid living in a friendless environment. But is that truly what we look for when we think of friends. Sure we may want to be friends with everyone but reality screams it is not possible.

So what is a friend. Well permit me for the next few posts (see I want you to come back!) to describe what I feel a friend is as a number of years ago I thought of an Acrostic that I developed when I was a minister. Hopefully this will not get too deep, but I hope it encourages you and me as we think of our Friends.

Just in case you can't check back all the time permit me to define it very quickly.
F - Friends fellowship or spend time together
R - Reach out to each other
I - Identify with each other
E - Encourage each other
N - Need each other
D - Disciple or spur one another on into deeper relationship with God and others.
I realize there is some overlap but I believe there is also differences in each aspect too.

So first of all a friend fellowships or spends time with others. I admit that there are many times that I prefer solitude and being by myself. But if I am to be a friend or you are to be a friend to others we need to spend time with those we want to become closer to. I have been blessed to be part of a fantastic care group in my church and I admit that at first I was leary of being a part of a group where it is mainly made up of young couples with kids or those who have teenagers or grown children. Yet over the past three years I can truly say I look forward to spending time with those people. We have a great time as we study, pray, laugh, and even eat together. I believe it is an example of what the early church was really about where in Acts 2 we are told that people broke break together and shared together. If I am to be a friend I am going to want to spend time with these people and with others so that I can get to know them better and not just on a shallow level either.

I will end here and realize that this is a longer post than most will be ( I hope!). Thanks for stopping by and let me know what you think are qualities of a friend to you.