Over the past couple of weeks I have been faced with the
onset of a detached retina and the subsequent eye surgery to repair and
reattach this retina. This life event has taught me a number of lessons that I
would like to share. I am sharing, not as one who has totally learned these
lessons as I am realizing that this is an ongoing process so I hope this will
be an encouragement to you all.
The first lesson that I have learned and am continue to
learn is obedience through this experience. You may wonder what I mean by that
and yet I believe obedience or paying attention to what is going on in my life
was and is important in dealing with this experience. Going back to October 25th
I had a funny feeling that something was wrong with my right eye. I had been
shaving on that Sunday morning and was a little surprised that I couldn’t
really distinguish the right side of my face. I did do a self-test in that I
took off my glasses covered my left eye and looked in the mirror and could not
make out clearly my face. I also tried to read something and could literally
see nothing. However I still did not think a lot about it only that it was kind
of strange and thought maybe it would clear up later in the day. I even kind of
joked with someone in church after the service that I was going blind in my
right eye and later walked to the library and asked a young man who was working
there who his family’s eye doctor was as figured I really needed to make an
appointment that week to see the eye doctor. As an aside yes I have not had my
eyes tested for a very long time, and that is another story and one I plan to
correct in the next month or so. I went back home and tried to see if my eye
had improved at all, i.e. did the self-test again and no it had not improved at
all.
Well you would think I would have obeyed the symptoms, i.e.
no sight and indeed had been seeing flashes of light in my right eye a couple
of times the past week, floaters – see things floating around and grab for them
only to sense they really are not there, and also had had a couple of incidents
two weeks before when I had sharp pains in my eye and thought just dry eyes,
but no I had not learned it yet. However, I was talking to my parents on the
phone later that afternoon (we usually talk at least once a week and sometimes more
– actually have talked every day since the operation!) and in passing mentioned
to my parents my experiences of the day and said that I guess I should see the
eye doctor. Well, my dad, and I love him very much, stated that I needed to go
to the hospital right away and get my eye looked at. I admitted that I was
hesitant and thought I could still wait to see an eye doctor later that week
but I am glad I obeyed my father even if I am in my 50s! To make a long story a
little shorter my visit to the hospital and seeing the doctor there and then my
subsequent to the eye clinic in Edmonton the next day showed that if I had not
obeyed my father I could still be dealing with a detached retina and greater
problems. The doctor at the hospital tested whether I could see him do certain
things and I could not and the same was true at the eye clinic. So the lesson I
learned, and wish I had learned it a little earlier in relation to my eye was
to obey.
Secondly, I think I am still learning that my life is not my
own that is, I can make plans and yet ultimately God is the one who directs our
paths. I had no intentions on taking time off from work due to eye surgery and
as a matter of fact that was the furthest from my mind a couple of weeks ago.
As a matter of fact the big thing on my mind at the time was working on a project
that was dear to me and also looking forward to American Thanksgiving at the
end of November when I would take time off and watch lots of college football
and cheer my Ohio Buckeyes on to victory over the Michigan Wolverines on the 28th!
And yes, Edward Lawrence I will expect your call that day chanting the O-H-I-O
chant! However, God had different plans as I am being reminded of that “his
ways are not my ways” (Isaiah 55:8) and he put a barrier, so to speak, to make
me slow down and hear in my spirit what He is trying to teach me. I have been
so busy, or so self-occupied with things that I really was not paying attention
to what God wanted. Yes, it is easy to go my own way and sometimes, as I am
learning in this experience, God uses circumstances in make me slow down and
take account of what is going on in my life and what I need to change as I
follow Him.
Thirdly, I am learning a little bit about having empathy for
those who suffer a lot more than I am. I do not want to make it out to seem
that I fully comprehend what others go through who have had sight problems, as
indeed I have at least one cousin who has suffered with a serious eye condition
and I can only imagine the difficulties she has gone through over the years.
However, I think this experience has made me feel more empathy and compassion
particularly for those with eye problems as I have had to get down on my knees
and look far into a cabinet to try and find something as I was preparing for a
meal. As well for a week I had to wear a patch at night and getting it taped to
my face so as to cover my eye and the difficulty I had in doing it by myself
makes me appreciative of how others have to cope on their own and try to do
things with very little sight. I remember on the Sunday night of the 25th
after finding out that the doctor at the hospital really felt my sight was very
bad and that I needed to go have further testing at an eye clinic waking up a
number of times and looking around just to make sure that I could still see out
of my left eye! I admit that my suffering and difficulties right now dim in
comparison to many of my other friends who go through struggles but I feel this
experience has taught and continues to teach me to care for those who are
suffering.
Fourthly, and though this is not so much a lesson as an
affirmation of what I have found out over the years, is that people really do
care for me. I am very thankful for not only calls from my parents but also for
individuals here in Barrhead here who have helped me out. I am thankful for a
couple of individuals who have driven me into Edmonton for my appointments as I
am an hour away from there and of course cannot drive in my condition. I am
also thankful for those who have done some shopping for me, for the meal that
was delivered, for colleagues who have stepped in to do extra work as I have
not been able to be at work in the library, and for the note that I received
from the elementary school where I work. And so I am indeed thankful for people who
show that they care for my well-being.
Fifthly, and a lesson that I keep having to learn is the
need for patience. If there is one lesson that I wish I could learn in a hurry
is how to have patience!! As I have been reminded by a couple of people on FB
who have gone through this type of experience with their eye themselves is that
I need to relax and realize that it takes time for my eye to heal. I have never
had to lay on my face as much (and I do in order to obey the doctor’s orders)
as I have in the past couple of weeks. As I find it difficult to read (and this
post is taking quite a while to write) and do others as my sight is very blurry
I can get quite discouraged as to the slowness of recovery. I actually have
been blessed, and can truly say that, as I have been listening to lots of
programs on the Internet and feel that the messages were specifically meant for
me as the speakers have been talking about patience and the need to learn it
and view these messages as affirmation of the need to continually learn this
lesson.
Finally, I am learning and this is an ongoing lesson that I
am learning, that I need to put my full trust in God knows what is best for me.
This goes hand in hand with the fact that my life is not my own. I am learning
to trust God more through this I feel. I admit I don’t know what lies ahead and
I trust that in the next little while that my sight will be much better due to
the operation but God knows what is best for my life. Though I definitely would
not have chosen to have an eye operation yet God knew and for that I trust Him
for my life.
I hope you have found this blog informative and hopefully
encouraging as I have shared where I am at in my life. I by no means have
learned all these lessons to their fullness and yet I trust that I am a little
further along in my life due to the applications of these lessons to my life
because of this experience. I trust you have been learning these and other
lessons in your own life as you progress on your own personal life journey. God
bless.
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